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Sunday, November 22, 2015

Do you have a dream? Then DO something about it!

A few months ago I was working in a low paying job at a cargo company which will remain nameless. I liked the work, it wasn't hard but the pay was incredibly low for what I was doing. My Coworkers around me were always complaining about how hard the work was and how they were never paid enough. I started there, five years ago, making about $10.00 an hour and I was now making about $12.25 and my Lead was making about $15.00 an hour. My Lead was half the age that I am and I found out that this Center was the lowest paying Center in the World for what we did. Others around the World were making $20 to $30 an hour!

My wife works at an Investment Firm which also shall remain nameless and she has worked there for 20 years. It's not a very physically challenging job but very stressful! A couple of months ago she came to me and said,"Raymond, I had an anxiety attack in my cubicle and all that I could think of was, OH, GOD! Don't let me die in this cubicle!" I told her, I will find a way to get you retired!

I needed a job that paid $20 to $30 dollars an hour. I needed something that I'm good at. I started researching on the internet and found something interesting to me. Truck Driving! I started researching this career. I found out that 3 years ago in America the industry needed 20,000 drivers! Last year the industry needed 30,000 drivers! This year the industry needed 50,000 drivers! So truck drivers are in high demand!

So what did I do? I started researching truck driving companies! I wanted to know what the requirements were. I wanted to know what schools or classes that I need to take. I wanted to know what sacrifices and what monies that I needed to pay for licenses and endorsements. I wanted to know what policies, equipment and technology that I would need to be the best truck driver that I could be!

I had been driving past an Averitt Express Service Center that was on my way to the airport for five years. I would always see signs for either Drivers or Mechanics for hire. That got me thinking.

I went online to and then I clicked on the Careers tab at the top of the page! I was impressed with the pay schedule which I found doubled what I was making just in the training process! All of their trucks were either Volvo or Freightliner and they were all automatic! I spoke with one of the recruiters on the phone and they told me that I needed a class A CDL licence and that I would need a Tanker and Hazmat endorsement within 30 days of being with the company. She also told me that there are Links on the website for all of the schools that they recommend. After hanging up with them I checked out the links on line and found Cumberland Lakes Trucking School that goes out of Gateway in Florence, Kentucky.

I spoke with their representative, Monica Meir, about enrollment and she told me that I would need to bring a check for approximately $4000.00 to the Gateway Center to enroll. So, I did exactly that. I took $4000 out of my bank account and put that amount toward my enrollment at Gateway/Cumberland Lakes CDL training.

I recieved my date to start and I gave my Cargo Company my two weeks notice. They were a bit shocked that I did so but my Coworkers were proud of me for making that jump of Faith.

I contacted, Averitt Express and I was connected to Fred Pugh, I told him that I had just put down money to start my CDL schooling and that I was very interested in coming to Averitt Express to work. Fred was invaluable in his knowledge and helping me thru the process.

I started my CDL Orientation at Gateway. I was there early everyday! I took my computer test at Boone County and passed to get my CDL Learners permit. The next week I started my training at the training yard. We started with the Pretrip Inspection. I thought, "Oh My God! How will I ever remember all of this?" I kept working at it.

We started straight backing in an International with a 10 speed Split shift. I was still working on my pretrip but after the second day I started doing the pretrip with out my book but having another classmate check me. By the third day, I was bored with the straight back and was ready for off set backing. That was a bit challenging but by the fourth day had mastered that and was introduced to the parralel parking of a 53 foot trailer! Really? I could barely parralel park a car let alone a tractor trailer! Guess what? I learned how to do that! Then I learned to do the IN CAB Inspection. Piece of Cake!

 Double clutching was a little hard for me. I went thru three trainers before Kim came into my life. Kim was a frumpy, 60 something, tough old trucking broad that didn't take crap off of anybody! She actually showed us her pistol, her brass knuckles and baseball bat so noone messed with her. She got me on the road and we went up and down hills and double shifted up and down the gears until I got it.

Soon it was time to take my CDL Test with Paul the Inspector, who was with the Kentuck DOT. He was a very quiet man. He was there with a pistol on his side and a clip board in his hand. I was the first to test that morning. I went thru my IN Cab with no problem. I breezed thru the Pretrip inspection. I went thru my straight back and my offset backing as well as my parralel with no problems. As we were leaving the Weigh Station, I breathed a prayer for God to be with us as we traveled. Paul, Said, "He always is." I smiled to myself.  We cleared the signage and the Weigh Station and we turned into the first exit as I downshifted, I missed the gear and we rolled to far before I grabbed the next gear. I stopped the truck in time. Paul quietly put his clip board on his lap and told me to turn left and then turn left again. He didn't make me do my emergency stop and instead of having me turn right to go to the Krogers, he had me turn left. I was disheartened but I didn't say anything.  I knew that I had failed that part of the test.

We got back to the Truck stop and Paul turned and told me that I had failed the driving test. I appoligized to him for wasting his time and he told me that it was okay that I could try it again soon.
I went back in and shamefully told Kim that I had failed. She immedietly got on the phone and had them reshedule me another test. I called Fred at Averitt and explained to him what had happened. He asked me to call him after that I had passed the test.

I drove with Kim two more times working on my Double Clutching and my downshifting. I knew that I had to pass this test and then I could drive Automatics for the rest of my career! The time came a week later to test with Paul, again! So we are traveling down the road entering into the exit, I started to downshift and again I heard it grind! Instead of freaking out, I revved the RPMs and it gently slid into gear! Paul looked over at me and grinned as he said, "You got that just in time." I breathed, "Thank you, Jesus!" The test went smoothly for the rest of the drive. We got back to the Weigh Station and Paul turned to me and said, "Raymond, you passed the test! I'm sending the county the endorsement and you can go pick up your CDL's in about 15 Minutes!"

I came out of the truck and I almost skipped to the Weight Station to let Kim know that I passed!
I went to the Boone County Clerk and picked up my CDL. After the drive home I called my wife and told her. We rejoiced together in the fact that I had passed.
All that I could say on my home was, "Thank you, God!" He had given me the breath, the will, the drive, the skill, the apptitude to succeed!

I called Fred Pugh to let him know that I had suceeded! He called me back and let me know that I would be staying at the Clarion in Cookeville, Tennessee for my weeks Orientation! Since I drove I recieved 26 cents per mile for my trouble. I got to my room that Sunday night and met my roomie, Hugh. He was from Kentucky as well and when he smile he had about 4 teeth. We had fun watching the Baseball playoffs and going to orientation. I met a lot of super nice people and got a lot of information as well as filled out a lot of information. The Second day we were there we recieved our uniforms! I made that uniform look good!

I met Jimmy Fitch and we became good friends. Averitt Express picked up the breakfast, lunch and dinner for us. Although Jimmy and I ate out a couple times that week. On the last day that I was there, I recieved my contact with my Trainer that I would be driving with for the next five weeks.

I called Jimmy Lemaster and he told me what time to meet him at the Lexington, Kentucky yard. I got there a little early. Soon, I saw him drive thru the Gate, so I followed him in. I pulled up beside him. I called out the window, "Jim?" He waved and we loaded the truck and I parked my car back in the employee parking lot.
We set off for our first week of adventures. He told me his stories and I have told him mine. We have shared jokes and our dreams. We don't agree on everything but I believe that we have started a friendship. We had many adventures over the past four weeks!

This week is my last with Jimmy Lemaster and I will miss his wisdom. This week I get my own truck and start off on my own adventures! I now have a week of backing school with is like Mator on Steroids but I'm excited about the prospect of being a truck driver, making good money and digging myself out of debt as well as giving my wife a break in her career.
                                                            So in conclusion,

  1.                                                   Have a dream.
  2.                                              Research the Dream.
  3.                                           Sacrifice for the Dream.
  4.                               Implement the Dream.
  5.                                   Live the Dream!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Parenting in Todays World.

Parenting has changed so much in the past 40 years! We have gone from a single working family to dual working families. The pace is much faster. Educating our kids are much faster. Keeping our kids safe is harder to do.

There are so many books and manuals out telling us what to do and how to do it. You may wonder what my qualifications are. I am a Grandfather with two boys. One Son of whom I had no idea that was mine until about four years ago. Another Son in which I went through and extremely hard divorce and fought to see.

I will give you my insights upon parenting and also what the Bible has to say about it. You may be surprised that the Bible, a piece of literature that is thousands of years old may have to share about modern parenting!

Benjamin, my youngest was such a blessing to me. He was born the same morning that we bombed Baghdad. I can remember watching this history transform as he was being born. He was fighting for his life because the embelicle cord was wrapped around his neck. With each contraction he should have faded but he became stronger! He never gave up! I was so proud of my wife, his mother at the time. Benjamin was born after the doctor unwrapped the cord from his neck. My Wife and Son was so amazing that day.

He came home from the Hospital and he grew day by day. He was exceptional in my mind bring me joy and happiness. Unfortunately, his Mother fell in love with someone else and we became to argue and things became more strained. Soon we were in divorce court. Divorce finalized our marriage but I continued to fight for Benjamins visitation.
I never talked badly about his mother in front of him. I would pick him up on the days alotted and we would have a few hours to be Father and Son. Some days she refused to allow me to see him. I would call the Police in which they would come and attempt to speak with her. I would then insure that I came away with a detailed police report. After gathering several of those reports I took her to court and showed the Judge these police reports and he warned her that she is in contempt of the Child Visitation Orders. She soon complied.
We finally had the visitation orders changed to see Benjamin days instead of hours. We got to take him to Disney. Unfortunately, He was scared to death because his Mother told him that we were probably going to steal him from her. He was sick on the plane but when we got into the Limo the Driver saw his condition and called Disney to imform them. Upon our arrival to the Disney Wilderness Lodge, a lady was at the door of the Limo and said, "Hello Benjamin! Mickey heard that you weren't feeling well so he sent this basket of things to cheer you up!" Benjamins face changed and was so happy because it had all kinds of candies and toys as well as a big Mickey Mouse Doll! The rest of our stay was amazing!
When he grew up and became a teen he recieved a cell phone from his Mother so as to text. He texted to everyone except me. He called his Mother every morning with his phone.
One morning, I walked in and he was talking to someone. I asked who he was talking to. He stated that he was talking to his Mother. I waited for him to get off the phone. I will admit it. I lost it!
He would call his Mother every morning but he couldn't call me?! I was livid!
I told him to get his things. I took him home and told him. If you don't want to be with me then you don't have to! Call me when you want to hang out!
A month went by. I was thinking to myself, maybe I had over reacted. My current Wife, Sonia, told me that I had done the right thing. There was a call that came to the house. Sonia, took the call and called for me to come to the phone. Ben wanted to speak to me! I could barely contain my emotions. He wanted me to come pick him up. He wanted to spend time with ME! I was so excited that I could barely control my emotions! I picked him up and he got into the car. We drove along for a while in complete silence. He looked over at me and said, "You know, Mom's Crazy!" We just laughed!

Life gets faster as you grow older. When Benjamin went to school, I told him that I would be there for him. I was! When he got into a fight, I went to the principles office to support him. What had happened was this boy stabbed my son in the back of his shoulder with a pencil and Benjamin promply whipped his butt! I always told Benjamin to defend himself but not to start a fight. That is what he did.
I told the principle that if he suspends my Son then the other boy should be suspended as well. It actually wound up that the other boy was suspended and Ben was allowed to go back to class.

There were times when Benjamin didn't get along with a certain teacher. We sat in the Principals office and I spoke to the Teacher in regards to his education. I insured that his report cards were mailed to me.

Ben and I made up a contract about rules around the house and concerning school. He signed it. He was pretty good about the rules.
We had a rule about school that said, If he brought home and A, I would pay him a dollar. A B would get him .75, A C would get him .50, A C would get him .25, A D would get him .10 and an F He would have to give me a Dollar!
One day, I received a letter from the school with his report card. There were 3 F's on it! I called his Mom. I asked her if she had seen his report card? She said that she had. I asked her if she saw the F's. She was surprised because on her report card, they were B's! He had intercepted the report card and changed the F's to B's not thinking that I would get a copy!

She gave him his punishment by taking away everything in his room, except a mattress and a light.
When he came over, I sat him down and I told him. "You owe me $3 for the 3 F's that you had on your report card." He chuckled to himself and said, "Well, I don't have $3!" I said, "Follow me." We went to the tool shed and I told him to get the shovel and follow me. I had him dig holes in the ground, all day.
He was so angry! He told me how much he hated digging holes in the ground! I replied, "Son, if you don't want to dig holes then never bring me F's on your report card again." He didn't. He never had another F on his report card.

Of course when he got older he wanted to test the old man out. He was mowing in the back yard. He was being so nonchalent about it. He was messing up. He was missing grass and I was making him go back over it. I told him, "Son, you are going to have to go back over that area there. Can't you see the grass that you missed?"
He walked up and started bringing his fist up to his face in a boxing stance. I told him, "Now Son, when you do that, you make yourself into a man. If you swing on me, I'm going to knock you out!" He said, "I'll tell Mom." I looked at him and smiled. Then I said in a low voice, "That's okay. You can tell her when you wake up from me knocking you out." Slowly the realization of reality set in and he brought his fist down to his sides and he returned to mowing the grass.
I have spanked him maybe three times in his life. It was the last resort. I told him why that I was spanking him and afterward I hugged him and told him that I loved him.

There were days that we would go to the Zoo, or the Museum, or to the park. There were times that we would play video games. There were days that we worked. I wanted to educate him and allow him to have fun.
Today, he is a grown man and he works with me at the same company. I am very proud of him and so is his bosses. The people around him know his as a hard working, honest man. That makes me happy that I have a little bit of that come back 100 fold.

Nate is a different story.
I was young and dumb when I had him. I was married to this young lady. We were so young and naive about the world. I was not the same man that I am today. I didn't know anything about relationships other then what I saw in the movies and the soup operas. What a horrible way to learn about life!
I'm so glad that my second wife had me go to anger management to learn how to use my words! The rage would build up inside me and I didn't know how to safely release it. I was a terrible husband. I can remember when Nate was born but I didn't know that he was my Son. I claimed him on the birth certificate but because of my wifes promiscuous ways, I didn't think that he was my Son.

I left her in Florida and went on with my life. She had the marriage annuled and we were done.
About five years ago, I recieved a message on Facebook. It was from a young lady in whom I had never heard of. She asked me if I knew a Nathaniel Peters or a Tina Crockman. I knew about Nathaniel  but Tina Crockman, I didn't know. I knew Tina Stratman. She sent me her phone number and told me that they didn't want anything from me but that Nathaniel was my Son and he was going to Afghanistan to serve in the Army!
I called him. He answered. Oh MY GOD! It was like talking to me! He sounded like me! He used sayings and words just like me! I knew within an instance that He was MY Son! I found him on Facebook. He looked like me thirty years ago! There was no denying him!
I told my Mom about him. She asked me if I had done a DNA test on him! I was like, "MOM, He's my Son! I don't need a DNA test to know this!"
In one day, I went from One Son and a Granddaughter to Two Son's a GrandSon and 3 GrandDaughters! There was whiskey involved that night, I guarantee!

I asked him how that they found me? He told me that his wife, Krystal, emailed hundreds of Raymond Peters on Facebook until I responded. I asked him why that he hadn't done so earlier. He told me that his Mom had told him that I was dead. His GrandFather, Johnny pulled him to the side and showed him my picture. He also gave him a Gideon New Testament that had my name on it. He found out that I was alive!
I'll never forget when we drove to Alabama ,where he was training, to visit him! We called his wife and she told us where to go. We met her and hugged her, then out from the back of the SUV bounced two little young girls! They ran up and gave me a hug and a kiss! I was being smothered to death by kisses from my grandyoungins! I was in Heaven!

Then we drove to the Fort and signed in to get our Military Visitation passes. We followed her to the facility to where the guys came to shoot pool. We stayed in the background until he came thru the door. He came in and greeted his family and then we stepped into the light and he saw me. He ran over and gave me a big hug! I was so happy to meet this man. He was my Son and he hollered to the guys in the building and said, "Hey, this is my Dad!" I was so proud of him. He had done good! Later on we had the chance to meet his young Son, my Grandson, Shannon! They all look like me! It's such a great feeling that ones legacy lives on!

My Granddaughter, Son and Myself.
My Son, Nate, Myself and Sonia my wife.
This is me in 1983!

One of the passages of scripture that I wanted to share with you is found in the book of Ephesians chapter six and verse four. It says, 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath : but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Basically, it states that we as Fathers of our children should obstain from provoking our children to be angry with us. We are to love them, educate them, feed them, protect them, nurture them, admonish them in the ways of the Lord.
Being a Father is NOT easy but it is well rewarding in the long run. It's just getting up every day and putting one foot in front of the other. Knowing that there is a little one that is trying their best to be like you.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Some Helpful Tips For Finding That Special One.

I remember as a young man, looking for that special someone that I could fall in love with. I made so many mistakes! I learned from my mistakes. Hopefully, I can pass on some wisdom to those that have an ear to listen.

Since I am a man this will be mostly helpful to the male gender but you ladies may get some insight to the male phenomena as well. I am just writing this to help someone out there in need. So here goes!

One thing to remember is that you WILL make mistakes! That's okay! Brush it off and learn from it. To find that someone you have to put yourself out there! If you don't step out of your comfort zone you will never find anyone.

This may sound corny but pray that God allows you to meet that someone! It never hurts to have a great big wonderful God to be on your side. He assures us that If he is for us then who can be against us?

If you are looking for a good woman it doesn't hurt to see what the Bible says that a Good Woman is.

Proverbs chapter 31 discribes a Virtuous woman by saying, 
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 
12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 
14 She is like the merchants ' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 
27 She looketh well to the ways * of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 
28 Her children arise up , and call her blessed ; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised . 
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Now that is a tall order to fill, you will never find a mate of perfection but you can find a match for you!
Basically, a help mate or a wife will be your friend, your rock, your lover,  and your balance.

She will be someone that you can LOVE! You will be her beloved and she will be yours as well. You will NOT own her but you will want to protect her. You will be grateful to do something for her every day.
What is LOVE? So many have tried to describe this word but I believe that the Bible drives it home and is spot on what true love truly is!
The Bible uses an old word, Charity, for the word of Love, so when you read this chapter that is what you will use.
I Corinthians chapter 13 and starting in verse one.
 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned , and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4 Charity suffereth long , and is kind ; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself , is not puffed up , 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly , seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked , thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth : but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail ; whether there be tongues, they shall cease ; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away . 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come , then that which is in part shall be done away . 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly * ; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known . 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Men, did you notice the portion where it said, When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things?

We should think on that for a bit. Women are not looking for a Child that she needs to baby all of the time but a MAN who can take care of her and let her know that you love her and everything is going to be fine.

Where is a good place to find a wife? There are actually so many places to find good women and to even seduce them or let them seduce you! Church is a great place, the Grocery Store, the Library, the Museaum, the Mall, Yes even the Bar. Why would I say the Bar? Because that is where I found the love of my life! 
Make opportunities to flirt! How can you do that?

First, Hygeine is very important for a woman! If you take a shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on something that looks good and smells good, you will have a better chance at being noticed. 

Always be on the look out for an opportunity. Open the door for them and they may open the door for you. 
Are they already spoken for? How can you tell? Are they wearing any wedding rings? Do they have a shadow or paleness where a wedding ring should be? Trust me! You don't want to be crawling out of any windows with your trowsers in your hands while an angry husband is shooting at you! Remember that in Europe that wedding band goes on the right hand.
When you see a possible candidate, open with a smile. Say, "Hello! How are you?" Be genuine. 
Don't be afraid to introduce yourself! Hello I'm ....say your name.... I saw you and found you interesting just because you brighten up the room when you walked in!
You are someone special and you find them intresting. 
What kind of food do they like? 
Ask them if they would like to go to dinner? Maybe just for coffee. Ask them when a good time would be? 
So now you know what they like in terms of food, what else do they like? Well, you will need to go on the date to get that information. 
So, she has agreed to go out with you, give her your information and get hers as well. 
What information? Get her digits! You will need this so if their is a problem you can call for a raincheck or she can do the same. It's also a little step of faith. 
You can offer to pick her up or you can meet her there.  Most of the women that I knew, liked a man to be assertive. 
It doesn't hurt to just have a business card to hand to her for convenience. It shows them that you are professional and that you are comfortable in them knowing who you are.

One of the things that I like to do is to ask them a few questions to open the door of conversations with them, it is very nonintrusive but effective. 
Ask them what their favorite color is?
Ask them to give you three adjectives that describe the color.
What is their favorite animal?
Ask them to give you three adjectives that describe the animal.
If they are in a white room with no windows or doors how do they feel?
Ask them to give you three adjectives that describe that feeling.
What is their favorite body of water?
Ask them to give you three adjectives to describe their body of water.
Make sure that you write down their answers!
The favorite color is what they want people to think of themselves.
The favorite animal is what they think about themselves.
The white room is what they think about death.
The body of water is what they think about sex.
You will be surprised how much that you will learn about someone by using this technique!

Now you have a working idea of who you are dealing with. 

If you have the opportunity to take her to a restaurant make sure that you are on time! Make sure that you are looking good and feeling good! Open the door for her. Help her with her coat. Help her into her seat. Do all of the things that a woman expects of you. Oh, Pay for the meal! Nothing is a buzz killer more then a man that can't pay for the meal!
When you are at the restaurant ask her questions. Find out what movies or books that she likes. Does she like to dance? Do you? If you don't, you need to! Dance is in every culture! There is nothing more exciting than holding a woman in your arms while dancing the dance of romance!
Trust me! If you can dance, there is nothing that can hold you back from romance! Women love to dance and if they don't know how, what a better opportunity then to teach them!
I once taught the Beauty Queen of Indiana how to dance the two step! I didn't get lucky that night in terms of romance but can you say that you have danced with the Beauty Queen of Indiana? I can!

Now guys, as you know that in a bar or disco or the club there will always be a guy who comes up to your date and want to dance with her. This is where you will show her that you truly are a gentlemen. 
Here is how that it should go down. 
You are setting down after dancing a couple dances with your lady. Aguy comes up and ask her if she would like to dance with him. She looks at you and you say to her,"If you want to dance with him, you can." Now, this puts the burden of truth on her shoulders. If she wants to dance with him, fine, no problem. If she says, No that she would rather stay with you then you look at the man and say, "The Lady would like to stay with me, but thank you for asking." Never fight over a woman but never be afraid of fight to protect her!
Remember to enjoy yourself and insure that she is as well. Remember that romance is a two sided street. If she is not having a good time, find out why and make it better.
When you take her home, walk her to the door. This insures that she knows that she is protected. This also lets her know that you are there to make sure everything is fine. 
On your first date, you don't want her to think that you are some sex crazed maniac but you also want her to believe that you care for her. When leaving, and this is very important, let her know that you had a great time. Be sensitive of her effections. Hold her hand gently, kiss it before you let it go while looking into her eyes. If she wants a kiss on the lips, trust me, she will let you know. Women want to be romanced! 
After the date is just as important as the date!
Dating is a time for fun, relaxation, food, excitement and fact finding!
Don't let her wait after a date for your call! That is just bull crap if you should do this! A woman needs to know, what your feelings are.  Call her and tell her how you felt that the date went and ask her how she felt about the date. Games are so passe. You are an adult and so is she so life is too short for games. Let her know if it works for you or not. Let her know if you felt good or bad about it.
If she didn't like the date, ask her what could have been better. Look for the critique. 
If she is not into you, then that's alright, maybe she's not into you but you gave it your best shot. Keep trying but maybe with someone else. 

Lord Alfred Tennyson said it best when he said, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

If she gives you the green light after calling her the next day, send her flowers! For what ever reason, women love flowers! I learned the hard way, the only thing that women love better then flowers is .....Jewelry!
You can't buy love but it doesn't hurt to spread a little love about by buying them what they love.
So how do you know that you are in love?
When you cannot go without seeing them or hearing them, you are in LOVE.
Their very scent gives you butterflies in your stomach, you are in Love!
You know what?
I still like taking my wife on dates!