I use to drive down the streets of America and see homeless people sitting in the doorways and on the corners holding out the hands for someone to give them money. I was one of those that would look at them in impudence or disdain. I would say to myself, "Why don't they just get a job!"
In 1992 I found myself in the same predicament. I went thru a divorce that had left me destitute! I had been accused of abusing my wife and beating her with a shotgun. I found myself in jail for something that I had never done! Upon my arraignment, I thought that it was a big mistake and that I could just talk my way out of this with a little understanding. My parents were there and they looked at me knowing that I could never do the things that I was accused of doing. I was amazed that my then wife stood in a court room, took an oath on the Bible that she would tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help her God. Then she made a scene that would or could have landed her an Oscar nomination. She lied thru her teeth. She lied about me stating that I beat her with a shotgun and tormented her. Afterward my Mother went to her and said, "Can you show me the cuts and bruises?" Of course, she couldn't show anything because it never happened!
In the state of Ohio, if a woman feels threatened, she can call the law, have her husband arrested on her testimony alone and he can be arrested!
After being arrested on her testimony alone, without witnesses or without pictures I was sentenced to two years of probation and was banned from the state of Ohio other then to visit my parol officer. I continued to fight for my rights as a father of my infant son. After much ado I had all of that expunged from off my record. It cost me my job and I had been living in Indiana in a tent!
I remember my first tent, which was actually two army ponchos clipped together and stacked to the ground and held up with connecting poles. Those were days filled with opportunity! I slept in the mud. Jobs were scarce to come by but I found one, working as a mud man on a plaster/sheetrock team. I worked very hard. My job was to keep a team of 10 or more men supplied with mud as they prepared sheet rock or plaster board. I worked long hours. I bought my tools as I could. I purchased an old 1974 International scout that was a 4x4 but the two wheel drive only worked. You could look down thru the floor boards and see the road below. I graduated from two ponchos clipped together to a tent then to an Iranian Military tent. I was now off the ground sleeping on two wooden skids, with an inflatable mattress and a mummy sleeping bag. I bargained with a farmer to camp on his land but in exchange I would protect his cattle from coyotes and trespassers. His name was Francis. He was a good, humble farmer who always kept his word.
I had enough money so as to buy clothing and tools for my job. I started going to Kentucky to the Neon Cactus! It was a great place to blow off steam, have a beer and dance with the girls.
One night, I walked thru the door and the manager handed me two tickets to see Bosephus live in concert that night! I went thru the place and I must have asked 50 girls to go with me and no one excepted my invitation! There was one girl though that told me that she was waiting for some friends to show and that she couldn't go but if I came back after the show she would be waiting for me. In the back of my mind I was like, "Sure! That will happen!" It was an invitation to come back though!
I went to the show and sat with me and an empty seat to my right. The show was great! There was Besephus who is actually Hank Williams Jr., Aaron Tipton, Charlie Daniels but my mind kept going back to the one girl that told me she would be waiting for me. So I left before the show ended. I drove that old '74 Scout like a banshee back to the Neon Cactus. I parked the Scout and hustled inside, showed my stamp on the back of my hand at the door and started my search for this one beautiful girl! Sure enough! There she was waiting for me where I left her! I asked her if she wanted to dance? She was delighted and we went on the dance floor and two stepped for about a half hour. Then came a slow dance. We were slow dancing to the music, I believe it was "The Dance" by Garth Brooks that was playing. I said, as I looked into her beautiful brown eyes, "I don't even know your name. What's your name?" She smiled and said, "Sonia, Sonia Goodwin." All that I heard was Sonya. Sonya was my ex-wife's name! I excused myself, saying that I needed to go to the restroom. I quickly made my exit to my Scout and speed into the night back to Indiana and my tent! Oh my God! Another Sonya! They were all out to get me! I was frightened by this prospect and very suspicious. About a month later, I met her again. She said, "Hey Stranger, where have you been?" I him and hawed around and finally It dawned on me. She's not the enemy. She's not my ex-wife. She doesn't want to hurt me. She is genuinely interested in me! So, I asked her how that she spelled her name. She replied, "S-o-n-I-a." I smiled and said that's great! She asked me why and I replied, "Because my Ex-wife's name is spelled S-o-n-Y-a!" She started laughing! She understood why this would be a bit of a problem but then she said, "At least, you will never get my name wrong in the heat of passion!" That made me smile.
We talked the night away. I went home and told my Mom who lived in a camper close to my tent. I met this incredible woman Mom. She will probably call in a day or so. While I was at work, Sonia called and left a message from me. My Mother still hadn't made the connection and was very angry that Sonia had called. She thought it was my Ex. I explained to her that It wasn't Sonya but Sonia! Mom, calmed down as I called Sonia back. I apologized for my Mom's coldness and explained to her about the spelling and we had a good laugh.
A week or so went by and I was staying the weekends with Sonia in which I slept on the couch. We would take wonderful walks and we would barbeque out or eat at a little Italian restaurant or go to Subway to get a sandwich.
One week, I went to work and my boss said that he was going to have to let me go. I was crushed. How could I survive without a job? Many didn't want to hire me because I had been to jail. I called Sonia and she asked me where I was. I told her in Indiana. She said where at because she wanted to come visit. I was ashamed. I hadn't told her that I lived in a tent. She drove up from Kentucky and pulled into the lot where my tent was. She was astounded that I lived there. She asked me why that I didn't tell her and I responded. "I didn't want to lose you. Here I am living in a tent and you are a Sales Executive for Comair Airlines." She hugged me and said, "Honey, I love you and none of this matters!" At that moment, I felt all warm and gooey inside. She loved me! She looked around and said, "Get your things, you are coming home with me!"
I moved in with her and her room mate Stacy Moan. She went out and bought me new clothes, a suit and books to read. These books were master pieces of self help! The art of closing by Zig Ziggler. Awaken the Giant within by Anthony Robbins. How to win friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie. I read those books and I went out and landed a car sales job at Mazda Towne.
We have been together since 1992. We married in 1995! My Son, Ben was the ring barer. It was a small wedding with my Mom and Dad, Dufa who was Sonia's Mother, My Son, Ben. The Preacher and his wife, the organ player made it a grand wedding. We went to Rafferty's for the reception and we went back to work on the next day.
Of all those days that I was in poverty, I never begged on the street and I never went on welfare.
I do know some secrets to surviving though. Did you know that Macdonalds after they have their hamburgers under the light, will count their hamburgers and throw them away in a plastic bag? At least they use to. I use to go thru their trash and find good hamburgers to eat after they threw them out! They were delicious. Fishing is a great way of sustaining your diet. Gardening is another way of sustaining your diet if you have a place to do it or may have some milk jugs and some dirt. You can go to the restrooms of gas stations or fast food restrooms to use the restroom and take a whore bath out of the sink. Stop smoking and drinking to save money for food. You must have clothes and shoes to wear. Rich people throw out a lot of good things to wear and furniture. If you can purchase an old truck you will never go hungry. You can go junking once you find the rich areas of town and be totally surprised at what they throw out! I have picked up TV's that just had a nob missing or a vacuum cleaner that just needed to change the bag! I once picked up the pieces of a desk. I brought it home put it together and had an $800 executive desk! One of the things that you will lose if you want to survive on the streets is your pride! You do what it takes to survive. Dumpster diving will surprise you of all the cool things that people will throw away and toss.
What I'm trying to say people is that it is possible to go from riches to rags and from rags to riches if you know what you are doing.
If you were to lose your job tomorrow, how long could you live on your savings before you lost your home? A week? A month? A year? I have met people that use to be Vice President of major corporations and industry living in squaller on the streets. Think about it people. The next time that you see someone on the street, don't be so judgmental. That could be you. Just say with me, "But for the Grace of God, Go I."
How can you help? If you see someone on the street that looks homeless and are begging for money. NEVER give them money. Always ask them, when is the last time that you have eaten anything?
Why? Because you don't know if this person is a drunk or a addict. If you give them money, they will probably spend it on their addiction. If you offer to feed them they probably will comply if they truly are homeless and haven't ate in a few days.
Also remember that there are professional beggars that will beg all day downtown on the street but at night will go to a nearby parking garage and take out a key from their pocket and open a Mercedes take out a bag. They will go to a nearby restroom, change into a nice looking suit or dress. Clean up and walk back to their nice looking car and drive to their six figure mansion.
Just be conscious of this.
We have millions of people that do sleep on the streets and on benches every night. We have millions of children that starve right here in the good ole U.S. of A. I'm not saying to help foreign charities but lets help our country first!
Here are some places to start.
I hope that you do live long and prosper.
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