Some Helpful Tips For Finding That Special One.

I remember as a young man, looking for that special someone that I could fall in love with. I made so many mistakes! I learned from my mistakes. Hopefully, I can pass on some wisdom to those that have an ear to listen.

Since I am a man this will be mostly helpful to the male gender but you ladies may get some insight to the male phenomena as well. I am just writing this to help someone out there in need. So here goes!

One thing to remember is that you WILL make mistakes! That's okay! Brush it off and learn from it. To find that someone you have to put yourself out there! If you don't step out of your comfort zone you will never find anyone.

This may sound corny but pray that God allows you to meet that someone! It never hurts to have a great big wonderful God to be on your side. He assures us that If he is for us then who can be against us?

If you are looking for a good woman it doesn't hurt to see what the Bible says that a Good Woman is.

Proverbs chapter 31 discribes a Virtuous woman by saying, 

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 

12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 

14 She is like the merchants ' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

  

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 

27 She looketh well to the ways * of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 

28 Her children arise up , and call her blessed ; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised . 

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Now that is a tall order to fill, you will never find a mate of perfection but you can find a match for you!
Basically, a help mate or a wife will be your friend, your rock, your lover,  and your balance.

She will be someone that you can LOVE! You will be her beloved and she will be yours as well. You will NOT own her but you will want to protect her. You will be grateful to do something for her every day.
What is LOVE? So many have tried to describe this word but I believe that the Bible drives it home and is spot on what true love truly is!
The Bible uses an old word, Charity, for the word of Love, so when you read this chapter that is what you will use.
I Corinthians chapter 13 and starting in verse one.
 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned , and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4 Charity suffereth long , and is kind ; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself , is not puffed up , 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly , seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked , thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth : but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail ; whether there be tongues, they shall cease ; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away . 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come , then that which is in part shall be done away . 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly * ; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known . 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Men, did you notice the portion where it said, When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things?

We should think on that for a bit. Women are not looking for a Child that she needs to baby all of the time but a MAN who can take care of her and let her know that you love her and everything is going to be fine.

Where is a good place to find a wife? There are actually so many places to find good women and to even seduce them or let them seduce you! Church is a great place, the Grocery Store, the Library, the Museaum, the Mall, Yes even the Bar. Why would I say the Bar? Because that is where I found the love of my life! 
Make opportunities to flirt! How can you do that?

First, Hygeine is very important for a woman! If you take a shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on something that looks good and smells good, you will have a better chance at being noticed. 

Always be on the look out for an opportunity. Open the door for them and they may open the door for you. 
Are they already spoken for? How can you tell? Are they wearing any wedding rings? Do they have a shadow or paleness where a wedding ring should be? Trust me! You don't want to be crawling out of any windows with your trowsers in your hands while an angry husband is shooting at you! Remember that in Europe that wedding band goes on the right hand.
When you see a possible candidate, open with a smile. Say, "Hello! How are you?" Be genuine. 
Don't be afraid to introduce yourself! Hello I'm ....say your name.... I saw you and found you interesting just because you brighten up the room when you walked in!
You are someone special and you find them intresting. 
What kind of food do they like? 
Ask them if they would like to go to dinner? Maybe just for coffee. Ask them when a good time would be? 
So now you know what they like in terms of food, what else do they like? Well, you will need to go on the date to get that information. 
So, she has agreed to go out with you, give her your information and get hers as well. 
What information? Get her digits! You will need this so if their is a problem you can call for a raincheck or she can do the same. It's also a little step of faith. 
You can offer to pick her up or you can meet her there.  Most of the women that I knew, liked a man to be assertive. 
It doesn't hurt to just have a business card to hand to her for convenience. It shows them that you are professional and that you are comfortable in them knowing who you are.

One of the things that I like to do is to ask them a few questions to open the door of conversations with them, it is very nonintrusive but effective. 
Ask them what their favorite color is?
Ask them to give you three adjectives that describe the color.
What is their favorite animal?
Ask them to give you three adjectives that describe the animal.
If they are in a white room with no windows or doors how do they feel?
Ask them to give you three adjectives that describe that feeling.
What is their favorite body of water?
Ask them to give you three adjectives to describe their body of water.
Make sure that you write down their answers!
The favorite color is what they want people to think of themselves.
The favorite animal is what they think about themselves.
The white room is what they think about death.
The body of water is what they think about sex.
You will be surprised how much that you will learn about someone by using this technique!

Now you have a working idea of who you are dealing with. 

If you have the opportunity to take her to a restaurant make sure that you are on time! Make sure that you are looking good and feeling good! Open the door for her. Help her with her coat. Help her into her seat. Do all of the things that a woman expects of you. Oh, Pay for the meal! Nothing is a buzz killer more then a man that can't pay for the meal!
When you are at the restaurant ask her questions. Find out what movies or books that she likes. Does she like to dance? Do you? If you don't, you need to! Dance is in every culture! There is nothing more exciting than holding a woman in your arms while dancing the dance of romance!
Trust me! If you can dance, there is nothing that can hold you back from romance! Women love to dance and if they don't know how, what a better opportunity then to teach them!
I once taught the Beauty Queen of Indiana how to dance the two step! I didn't get lucky that night in terms of romance but can you say that you have danced with the Beauty Queen of Indiana? I can!

Now guys, as you know that in a bar or disco or the club there will always be a guy who comes up to your date and want to dance with her. This is where you will show her that you truly are a gentlemen. 
Here is how that it should go down. 
You are setting down after dancing a couple dances with your lady. Aguy comes up and ask her if she would like to dance with him. She looks at you and you say to her,"If you want to dance with him, you can." Now, this puts the burden of truth on her shoulders. If she wants to dance with him, fine, no problem. If she says, No that she would rather stay with you then you look at the man and say, "The Lady would like to stay with me, but thank you for asking." Never fight over a woman but never be afraid of fight to protect her!
Remember to enjoy yourself and insure that she is as well. Remember that romance is a two sided street. If she is not having a good time, find out why and make it better.
When you take her home, walk her to the door. This insures that she knows that she is protected. This also lets her know that you are there to make sure everything is fine. 
On your first date, you don't want her to think that you are some sex crazed maniac but you also want her to believe that you care for her. When leaving, and this is very important, let her know that you had a great time. Be sensitive of her effections. Hold her hand gently, kiss it before you let it go while looking into her eyes. If she wants a kiss on the lips, trust me, she will let you know. Women want to be romanced! 
After the date is just as important as the date!
Dating is a time for fun, relaxation, food, excitement and fact finding!
Don't let her wait after a date for your call! That is just bull crap if you should do this! A woman needs to know, what your feelings are.  Call her and tell her how you felt that the date went and ask her how she felt about the date. Games are so passe. You are an adult and so is she so life is too short for games. Let her know if it works for you or not. Let her know if you felt good or bad about it.
If she didn't like the date, ask her what could have been better. Look for the critique. 
If she is not into you, then that's alright, maybe she's not into you but you gave it your best shot. Keep trying but maybe with someone else. 

Lord Alfred Tennyson said it best when he said, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

If she gives you the green light after calling her the next day, send her flowers! For what ever reason, women love flowers! I learned the hard way, the only thing that women love better then flowers is .....Jewelry!
You can't buy love but it doesn't hurt to spread a little love about by buying them what they love.
So how do you know that you are in love?
When you cannot go without seeing them or hearing them, you are in LOVE.
Their very scent gives you butterflies in your stomach, you are in Love!
You know what?
I still like taking my wife on dates!